Developing A Better Version Of Myself

I got from 85 to 70 kilos now.I've been trying to lose some more weight for a long time.But I haven't been able to
figure out why I just can't do it.I don't have the consistency and the power to keep away from junk food.
As I take a cold hard look at myself in the mirror, I realize that losing weight isn't the only thing I failed at.
I failed to complete my college studies, in Computer Science.I lie, I get angry fast, I give up to easily.

I still have some classes to pass because I didn't study for some exams,I just don't know if programming is the thing for me
but my parents would kill me if I told them this.
I lie,because people lie to me,and sometimes I worry about what people would think if I'd tell them the truth.
I get angry fast,sometimes at people that don't deserve it.
I give up to easily, and I don't know why.

I think most of it is because of the environment I live in.The giving up,lying, and anger is the family way.
But I also know that blaming them,even if it's true, is no way of fixing me.I gotta fix myself and I've taken some steps:
I begun reading a C++ programming book in the summer,still have around 100 pages to read.I'm gonna start doing P90X again,as much as I can,
and I started keeping track of what I eat and how I exercise.

Al N-lea inceput.The n-th beginning

[ro:] Sunt un om de rahat.Daca as putea sa stau toata ziua in casa si sa ma uit la seriale, as face-o.Dar peste cateva luni incepe viata, si mi-e frica.Trebuie sa merg sa dau tema la Securitate,peste 2 zile.Inca nu am facut nimic.Si ce e mai rau? Nu prea imi pasa. Ma tot intreb de ce am ales aceasta facutate? De ce am fost atat de sigura pe mine?Iar acum, as face orice altceva, dar nu stiu ce, si nici multe optiuni nu am.

Partea buna a zilei de azi a fost ca am facut sport, P90X - KempoX + AbRipperX si nu am mancat prostii. Mi-am vizitat profilul de slabute.ro si am dat de o veche prietena de suferinta care locuieste acum in Belgia. Acest lucru m-a bucurat foarte tare. Inca nu am auzit de la Ash nimic, sper sa nu fie deja pe vapor.Am nevoie sa imi iau ramas bun.
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[en:] I am a shitty person.If I could stay in the house and look at tv series all day long, I'd do it. But in a few months the real life will kick in and I'm scared.I gotta show my Security homework in 2 days and I haven't done any of it.What's even worse is that I don't even care.I keep asking myself why I choose this faculty and why was I so shore it's the one.And now I'd do anything else, but I don't know what, and I don't have a lot of options.
On the bright side, I worked out today, P90X - KempoX + AbRipperX and I didn't eat crap.I also went back to my slabute account and got back in touch with a friend in suffering who now lives in Belgium and that makes me feel great. I haven't heard from Ash today, and I hope he is not on a ship yet.I want a goodbye :( .

Respir Muzica

Acum ca sunt in Satu Mare, am profitat de ocazie si am mers la o petrecere unde un coleg de generala (tip de nota 10) a mixat muzica.Si asa am descoperit un nou stil muzical,si anume DUBSTEP.Iata cateva piese care le-am pus pe player:





Si din filme avem:

1.hmm nu mai stiu din ce film e [cred ca The Vampire Diaries] dar ideea este asta:
its about a girl who is in love with a man who is not good for her. He drinks, uses drugs, uses her for sex and then leaves her when he sobers up, but she does not care anymore as long as he is with her she is happy. Why 'until we bleed love'? because she will keep having sex with him until (according to her) he finally falls in love with her, just like when you rub on a sore thumb, you finally make it bleed, she believes she can make him bleed love-love her if she keeps on being used by him.



2.Din Grey's Anatomy[season 8, ep 3]
Min 31,cand toti sunt in sala de operatie.Refrenul e magic.



3.Din nou nu stiu, cred ca tot The Vampire Diaries, dar nush sigur:)

Sport 1

[ro:] Prima zi de sport a fost cam slabuta.Am facut P90X Chest&Back + AbRIpperX.Bine, Chest&Back nu l-am facut integral,dar am facut cat am putut.Cu mancatul am stat prost deoarece a fost ziua lui Doru si am mancat prajituri si ciocolata...

[en:] The first day of sport was a little thin. I did P90X Day1,  Chest&Back  + AbRIpperX , well, almost, as I didn't do chest&Back full.  Easting-wise it wasn't great because it was Doru's birthday and I ate cookies and chocolate...

[ro:] Urmaresc multe seriale si show-uri americane.Printre ele se numara si THE BIGGEST LOSER [Cel mai mare pierzator ar fi traducerea exacta] . Este o emisiune despre oameni obezi care vor sa slabeasca, si sunt dusi la o ferma unde au antrenori si co-echipieri. Aceasta emisiune m-a marcat inca de prima data cand am vazut-o.
Problema mea este ca niciodata nu reusesc sa obtin ceea ce imi propun. Nu am determinare, deloc. Dar incerc, si sper sa evoluez din ce in ce mai mult.
E 9.52 si dupa ce am vizionat primul episod din sezonul 12 al emisiunii, am facut vreo 10 minute de exercitii pt picioare din antrenamentele Tracy Anderson.Sunt o gurmanda si stiu ca sportul e singura mea scapare. Nu ma intelegeti gresit, incerc sa imi corectez alegerile gresite in privinta mancarii, dar e foarte greu pt mine, si uneori o dau in bara rau de tot.
De maine voi incepe iar cu P90X,ca acum e prea tarziu.Asa ca ne vedem maine, inca o prima zi, dintr-o serie de prime zile esuate.

[en:] I watch THE BIGGEST LOSER on a regular basis, amongs other american tv shows.It made a very strong impression since the first time I saw it.
My biggest problem is that I never finish what I begin.I don't have any determination, but I try and I hope I'm only getting further on my path to the body I want.
It's 9.52 PM and I've just seen the first episode of the 12th season. After the show I exercised a little; I did Tracy Anderson's workout for legs. I LOVE FOOD and I know that sport is my only escape. Don't get me wrong, I try to eat as healthy as I can but sometimes I screw up big time.
Tomorrow I want to start P90X again because now it's too late.So I'll see you tomorrow on another first day, from a series of failed first days.